Relationship Advice In 7 Quotes From Couples Therapist Esther Perel

That will likely change how you look at relationships forever.

Alina | Psychodynamic Psychology


Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Esther Perel has been a couple’s therapist for over 35 years. She has seen and heard it all. She has written about desire and infidelity, given TedTalks and recorded multiple podcasts.

You might find that some of her words ring so true, it will be beautiful and painful at the same time. You might find it is not about recognising or fixing the other but to recognise yourself in her words with enough kindness to make the changes you deem suitable.

No one is perfect and no relationship ever will be. However, applying some of her wisdom and doing so with humour, will surely not just improve your relationships but also your life.

1. “The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life.”

We would like to think we are so independent. We don’t need anyone, we can do it all on our own. Asking for help? No, I got it. Where do I belong? To myself. What do I want? More money, fame.

Independence, empowerment and self-reliance are important but we sometimes forget that we were born to belong to one another. We need one another the moment we are conceived and we still need one another as we grow up and old.

Most people end up focusing on work and bring the left-overs home or neglect their friends. There can, of course, be a lot of beauty in solitude but even then you are woven into a social net of different relationships that carry you.


The importance of relationship for life satisfaction was also confirmed in the Harvard Study of Adult Development — the longest study on happiness. You can choose work rather than spending time with your spouse and to pursue fame over investing in your friendships if you want to have a splendid career and financial success.

But if you want to live a meaningful life, a life that is truly fulfilling, you need to invest in your relationships and make them meaningful.

2. “Behind every criticism is a veiled wish.”